I’m not your therapist

So you say you’re a complex person, someone with layers that go deep, deep down like a spiral staircase, twisting and turning with every chapter of your life.

So you say you’re a person with a life and with problems and lots of struggles.

So you say your life is terrible, the worst out there, and that you’re so glad to have a ‘best friend’ like me. Someone who listens eagerly and doesn’t expect too much from you.

So you say I’m your best friend of all time. I’m not sure if I really believe that. 

Have you noticed that I’ve stopped reaching out, because you reach out for me? But never to ask about me. No, you never reach out with questions, you reach out with complaints. Complaints about your own life, your own problems, your own annoyances.

I know everything about your life, all the details, everything that causes you anxiety, everyone who you hate, whatever causes you problems. I could tell your whole life story with no trouble, because I hear it every day. 

But could you do the same for me?

Tell me, when was the last time you reached out to ask how I was doing? Could you even tell me why I cried last night, or why I’m covered in pain? Can you tell me when my latest heartbreak was, or how my heart was broken? What causes my anxiety? My problems? What is my biggest regret, that has been tearing at my heart recently? Could you even tell me? I doubt it.

Every time I try to tell you, you find some way to switch the topic back onto yourself without even acknowledging that I have problems too.

So, if you want someone to rant to, someone to drop all of your problems on without having to give anything back, get someone who makes a living on it. Stop using me. I’m tired of it.

I’m tired of trying to help you, only for you to get mad when I can’t relate. Or get mad when I can relate.

I’m tired of you always belittling my problems.

I’m tired of always having to put my own life aside to assist you. 

I’m not your therapist. I am a person, a complex person, who has a life and problems and struggles of my own.

We all do. You’re not the only one.