Connor’s Corner: Seeing Red

I don’t know if anybody else has this problem but sometimes I just can’t unsee the color red. What I mean by that is that I can’t view positive things as positive things I only view things in a negative perspective. I get like this a lot because I just can’t handle the stress that just overcomes me on a daily basis. I’ve tried everything to unsee that inevitable, unescapable redness of stress and anger but its not as simple as it seems. 

Escape feels impalpable and almost impossible to achieve. I know most of my stories have a bright side to them but this one really doesn’t. This story isn’t like most where there is a resolution. There is no resolution to a problem that is unsolvable. Like an expression in math there is no definite one answer, no equal sign. You can simplify an expression as much as possible but you’ll never get an answer. 

Thats what this feels like. A problem that can only be simplified but not solved is what my life feels like every single day. 

 Searching and searching for that answer on a daily basis is tiring. I have come to the conclusion that there is no answer, but only tiny solutions that can fix it in the moment. I know I am saying this in a pessimistic way but that is how I have to say it because even while I am  writing this I am seeing that color. The color of blinding rage and anxiety that color that I can just sum up to being the color red. 

Everyone sees this figurative color in their lives they might not personify it like I do but I feel like giving a name to the monster may help. Its better to know the beast from within than to ignore it. The personification of this beast is just one of those many temporary fixes that come with my version of the color red. 

Anxiety, Depression, Frustration, Disappointment, Powerlessness, and Insecurities are just some of the many adjectives that help the personification of the color red. 

Red has lots of meanings in the world. Red is associated with death and anger, but its also associated with love and joy. How can one color encompass so many different meanings? For me though red only represents one thing that thing being stress and anger. Think about the color red and what is the first word to come to mind. For me the first word is anxiety the first word is anger. Perception is key, as it determines your outlook on the world. I hope red has a different meaning for someone else because if I could change my perception of the color red, believe me I would.