Authenticity

Lately, I  feel like there’s so much pressure to have your life together. To make sure that no one sees the broken mosaic inside of you that you have no idea how to fix. When people ask how your day is going, you smile and respond “Good, how’s yours?” without giving it a second thought. There can be a deeper meaning behind our answer, though. What would happen if we let out the burdens weighing down our minds, instead of filtering our words to make it seem like we have everything figured out? This vulnerability to other people seems like it would bring so much judgment and a spotlight on us, pinning us to be weak and uncontrolled. In reality, when we’re real with people, they’ll be able to relate to us that much more and that connection is irreplaceable. So I’m here to say that I’m a chaotic mess. I like being known as the girl who always has a smile on her face and a laugh in her voice. Someone who’s outgoing and cheerful and can talk to anyone. But honestly? Sometimes I’m shy. Sometimes life smacks me in the face and I lose the strength to fight back. Sometimes I’m broken. As I scroll through Instagram, I always, ALWAYS, get caught up in the trap of comparison. I look at every girl and compare myself to her. Think about every flaw in my being and exactly how to fix it. But then it hit me:  why should I even care about putting up this front if that’s not even who I am? In reaction, I immediately deleted every post I felt like was fake in any way, and thought to myself exactly how to prevent this vicious cycle from repeating. The answer is simple: the more time I spend thinking of others’ judgements, the worse I feel. It’ll be an endless process, but each day is feeling more and more freeing as I’m beginning to feel what it’s like to become the creature He created me to be.